I met Ed in September of 1979 in General Chemistry lab at Fullerton College. I wasn't even registered for the class and was told to leave because the class was full and there was no space for me. I told our instructor, Gus Gustafeson, that I would be there still making an A when half the class had dropped out. He let me stay!Ed occupied the farthest end of the lab table, a total hippie from the 60's. Long hair, long beard, totallly decked out like an eastern Indian weirdo guy. He would come over to my end of the long table because I had "the sink" next to me. He would try to make conversation, and I was like this" little cookie-baking mommy" that was not used to talking to hippies.
One day, I was preparing to do an experiment (sorta like starting a recipe).....He said, " Deb, did you get a haircut this weekend?" (I didn't even look up). I said, "Yeah" He said, "Well, so did I." I lifted my head and there was this total babe with cut hair (with a small tail), trimmed beard, corduroy pants and a flannel shirt. I totally went weak at the knees. That was the start of a friendship that would last 28 years. (I told him later, "I didn't recognize you, at first!)
I had never been exposed to the experiences that were so much a part of his life--hiking, rock climbing, star gazing, fishing, camping. My kids were totally mesmerized by him. He took my kids, Lisa, Gina, and Nick, on adventures that were better than Disneyland. He took the kids rock hunting and started my son, Nick's, first rock collection. Nick said, "Mom, I didn't know you could give a rock as a present!!" He still has his rock book and magnifying glass. Ed has a collection somewhere of pictures of this kid peeing in every possible setting in the wild. One time when Nick was being particularly obnoxious during an outing, Ed turned him upside down and dunked his head in the stream!! My kids still talk about Ed's Pie Dyes------smushed wonder bread pies with filling cooked over the campfire. (no whole grains here!!)
Speaking of giving rocks as presents, one time Ed sent me a package in the mail from San Diego with a beautiful piece of granite. The note said, "Don't take me for GRANITE". I replied by sending him a freshly baked loaf of whole wheat bread with the note, "Don't take ME for GRAIN---ED". That was the end of that discussion!
The years went by and I married my nursing school boyfriend, Craig, in April of 1985. I had given up the thought that I would ever be able to domesticize this wild guy who was actually looking for White Buffalo Woman. I was like a "poodle" in his world----but we were always fabulous friends. In 1999, my husband and I went to Las Vegas and we decided it was time to meet the spouses. Ed came and picked Craig up at our hotel for lunch. They were fast friends. Ed showed him the beauty of his world in Nevada and took him out for Mexican food. (Mainly what Craig remembers about the lunch was the cute waitress with the amazing cleavage) It was on that trip that we first met White Buffalo Woman Wendy and their first beautiful little girl. What always impressed me about Wendy was how she was able to handle the "old girlfriends". Ed was not a thrower-away of people he had cared about. She knew this guy was hers!
The next trip out to see them was after the youngest was born. Nick hadn't seen Ed in many years and brought out his girlfriend for Ed to meet. They next day, Nick and Skye eloped in Las Vegas. Must've been the Ed-effect.
We've seen Ed and family a number of times in the last 5 years as he was getting treatment in Houston where we live. I last saw him on his 48th birthday 3 weeks ago tonight. He told me that if it weren't for his 3 "girls"---that he could go without regret. My most poignant memory of that night was the cello concert that his daughter performed. I saw the love that he had for her as she played.
I feel very blessed to have know this man and his family. He was one of the most influential people in my life and I know I am not unique in this feeling. He was truly a teacher to many of us and will live on in our hearts. With love to Al, Lauralyn, and Evey for being an amazing family support---I know what all you did!!! To Wendy and his daughters, I hold the utmost respect and love for being his world and his haven.
God bless you all, Debby Ruggieri Hartman
